Everybody Knows

Wind Chronicles: Everybody Knows... Shit Happens

I came across an interesting poster in the restroom at Pivo when I went there during RadiaTa's year-end EB :3

Everybody Knows... Shit Happens

TAOISM - "if you understand shit, it isn't shit"
HINDUISM - "this shit happened before"
CONFUCIANISM - "confucious say 'shit happens'"
BUDDHISM - "shit will happen to you again"
ZEN - "what is the sound of shit happening?"
SIKHISM - "leave our shit alone"
JEHOVA'S WITNESS - "knock knock. shit happens."
ATHEISM - "i don't believe this shit"
AGNOSTICISM - "can you prove that shit happens?"
CATHOLICISM - "is shit happens, you deserve it"
PROTESTANTISM - "shit happens, amen to that"
JUDAISM - "why does shit always happen to us?"
ORTHODOX JUDAISM - "so shit happens, already"
TELEVANGELISM - "send money or shit will happen to you"
RASTAFARIANISM - "let's smoke this shit"
HARE KRISHNA - "shit happens rama rama"
NATION OF ISLAM - "don't take no shit"
NEW AGE - "visualize shit happening"
SHINTOISM - "you inherit the shit of your ancestors"
HEDONISM - "i love it when shit happens"
SATANISM - "sneppah tihs"
CAPITALISM - "this is MY shit"
FEMINISM - "men are shit"
EXISTENTIALISM - "what is shit, anyway?"
SCIENTOLOGY - "if shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"
MORMONISM - "excrement happens" (don't say shit)
BAPTISM - "we'll wash the shit right off you"
MYSTICISM - "this is really weird shit"
DISNEYISM - "bad shit doesn't happen here"

COMMUNISM - "let's share the shit"
MARXISM - "you have nothing to lose but your shit"
CONSPIRACY THEORISM - "THEY shit on us"
PSYCHO-ANALYSIS - "tell me about your shit"
DARWINISM - "survival of the shittest"
AMISH - "modern shit is useless"
SUICIDAL - "i've had enough of this shit"
OPTIMISM - "shit won't happen to me"
TREKISM - "to boldly shit where no-on has shit before"
SHAKESPEAREAN - "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"
DESCARTES - "i shit therefore i am"
FREUD - "shit is a phallic symbol"
LAWYERS - "for enough money, i can get you out of shit"
ACUPUNTURIST - "hold still or this will hurt like shit"
DOG - "i just shit in your shoe"
CAT - "dogs are shit"
MOUSE - "oh shit! a cat!"
POLITICALLY CORRECT - "internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens"
EINSTEIN - "shit is relative"
FAMILY GATHERING - "relatives are shit"
MATERIALISM - "whoever dies with the most shit, wins"
VEGETARIANISM - "if it happens to shit, don't eat it"
FATALISM - "oh shit, it's going to happen"
ENVIRONMENTALISM - "shit is biodegradable"
AMERICANISM - "who gives a shit?"
STATISTICIAN - "shit is 84.7% likely to happen"
HIP-HOP - "motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!"
TANTRISM - "fuck this shit"
CYNICISM - "we are all full of shit"
SURREALISM - "fish happens"

WICCA - "you can make shit happen but shit will happento you three times"